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Introduction
This information is from Side by Side.
Side by Side is a online community for people with mental health problems.
Community members have shared their thoughts to help shape this page.
Moderators
Moderators are people who work on Side by Side to make sure all the posts are safe.
Moderators read every wall post on Side by Side.
They do not read every comment or Direct Message.
Flags
Flag anything you think a moderator should know about by using the Flag button next to the post, comment, or Direct Message.
Abuse
Abuse is when someone hurts you or treats you badly.
It is ok:
- To mention abuse without graphic details (Graphic means to talk about abuse in detail)
It is not ok:
- To share graphic posts
- To describe abuse or violence
- To post abusive things someone has said
- To describe sexual abuse and sexual violence
Bullying, Discrimination and Abusive Content
Bullying is when one person or a group of people treats you in a bad way.
Discrimination is when you are treated badly or unfairly because of your gender, race, religion, disability, health condition or sexual orientation.
Abusive content is when one member is being unkind to another member.
This might be:
- Name-calling
- Threats
- Insults
- Making someone feel scared
- Behaving in a way that upsets someone.
Discrimination can be about:
- Religious groups
- Someone’s age
- Someone with a disability
- Someone who feels that they are LBGTQIA+. LGBTQIA+ is used to describe people with different sexualities, like gay and bi-sexual. It also includes people who have changed their gender or feel themselves to be a different gender.
- Gender is whether you are a man, a woman or something else.
- Race, for example if you are Black, White or Asian
- Characteristics of a person, like their hair colour or the way they look.
- Things people have gone through in their lives, like problems with drugs or alcohol.
Moderators do not accept abusive or rude messages towards them.
Moderators might not reply to unkind messages.
If members keep being abusive to moderators, moderators will stop access to the site.
Adverts and projects
It is not ok:
- To post websites or things that you need to pay for
- To share projects that ask members to take part in research. This could be for school, university, or work.
It is ok:
- To post links to helpful services that are free.
Controversial Figures
Controversial figures are people who have been convicted of crimes, or have been accused of doing crimes.
It is not ok:
- To post about controversial figures (including text, images, photos or memes)
- To post about political groups (Political groups are people who have strong political opinions.
- To post about cults (Cults are a group that has beliefs that are extreme or dangerous).
Defamation
Defamation is when someone writes or says something that hurts someone else’s reputation. For example, if someone shares a lie about someone else.
It is not ok:
- To post fake or untrue statements about others. This is defamation.
Disagreements and Arguments
Sometimes members will not agree on topics.
It is ok:
- To disagree with someone, but you must be kind when you reply.
It is not ok:
- To argue with other members. Tell a moderator if you see members having arguments.
Drugs and Alcohol
Drugs can be
- Marijuana (weed)
- Drugs that are against the law.
- Prescription drugs. A prescription is the note which says what medicines your doctor thinks you should have.
- Party drugs
It is ok:
- To post about being part of a study your doctor is doing.
- To post about drugs[JF1] your doctor has given you, like medical marijuana. Make sure it is clear that your doctor has said you can take them.
- To post about personal prescription medication
It is not ok:
- To post in a way that makes drugs sound good or makes people want to try them.
- To post in a way that makes people want to try dangerous things.
- To sell drugs on the site.
- I post in a way that makes people with drug or alcohol problems feel bad about themselves.
Alcohol can be
- Beers
- Wine
- Cocktails
- Drinks that make you drunk
It is ok:
- To post about alcohol problems and ask for support.
- To mention alcohol without details
It is not ok:
- To post in a way that makes alcohol sound good or makes people want to try it.
- To post in a way that says drinking is a way to deal with your problems.
Expert or medical advice
Expert or medical advice is when someone shares special information with another person to help them.
Doctors give advice on health problems.
Dentists give advice on teeth.
Therapists give advice on mental health.
It is ok:
- To share things that have happened to you.
- To suggest someone speaks to a doctor.
It is not ok:
- To give medical advice or expert opinions, even if you are qualified.
- To tell someone they have a mental of physical health problem.
- To suggest treatments for someone else.
Food, Weight and Exercise
Sometimes members will post about their meals, problems with food or their weight or how they feel about exercise. Some members may struggle with how they feel about their body.
It is ok:
- To share photos of food
- To talk about which foods you like or dislike.
- To post about not eating for religion.
- It’s ok to talk about your weight generally. Don’t give details of weight loss or weight gain
- To talk about your own body without being negative or positive about it.
- To talk about exercise without details.
- To talk about using diet pills if a doctor is helping you or has told you to use them.
It is not ok:
- To share calories , clothes sizes, weight, amounts eaten
- To share pictures that might make others comment about your weight
- To share ways to throw up what you’ve eaten
- To share how to make yourself have diarrhoea (poo out food)
- To encourage other people to use diet pills
Graphic and Detailed Content
Graphic and detailed content is anything that could make someone think about something that could make their mental health worse.
This could be:
- Naming ways to hurt yourself.
- Describing an injury.
- Describing something violent.
- Sharing photos of scary or violent things
- Describing harm to humans or animals.
If moderators see this content, they will hide it.
Gambling
Gambling means to play a game to try to win money. You may need to pay money to play. You could risk losing money or being addicted.
We ask members not to talk about gambling or share links to gamble sites, unless they are sharing experiences around addiction or seeking support around gambling issues.
Illegal Activity
Illegal activity is doing something that is against the law.
This could be
- Selling drugs
- Drugs that are not allowed by law
- Stealing
It is not ok:
- To post about things that are not allowed by law on Side by Side
If moderators see anything that is against the law, they will need to tell the police.
Pictures
All of the community guidelines apply to both writing and pictures. Community guidelines is everything on this page.
It is ok:
- To post photos that share more information about your life.
- To post photos of people in swimwear, sports wear, as long as it isn't sexual
It is not ok:
- To post photos that show private body parts
- To post photos that show violence, suicide methods (Suicide is when you kill yourself on purpose).
- To post photos that show self harm (self harm is when you harm yourself on purpose).
- To post photos of abuse
- To post photos that make other members scared.
- To post scary photos
- To post pictures of children that shows who they are or where they live. For example, if they are wearing school uniform.
- To post pictures of children that are not your own without their parents saying It is ok.
- To post pictures of weapons, unless they are hobbies like fencing or archery.
- To share photos of recently operated body parts
- To share photos that are just about scars, casts, plasters, bandages.
Impersonation
Impersonation means pretending to be someone else.
It is not ok:
- To pretend to be a member of the Side by Side team. For example, pretending to be a moderator.
- To pretend to be another community member.
- To pretend to be a celebrity.
- To pretend to be a famous public figure.
Moderator Decisions
Moderator decisions are actions and choices that moderators make as they work on Side by Side.
Moderators make sure the community guidelines are being followed by members.
It is not ok:
- To post on the main wall about moderator decisions.
This could be:
- Posting about an individual moderator
- Posting about the a group of moderators
- Posting about a decision a moderator made
- Posting about how moderators carry out the guidelines
- Posting about conversations you have had with moderators
Misinformation, Conspiracy, and Opinions as Facts
Misinformation is when false information is shared.
This could be sharing an article from a newspaper that was not true, but you believed it was.
Conspiracy is when someone believes in something that there is no proof about, like thinking something is being covered up or lied about. They will often say the event is because of a powerful group of people.
This could be posting that all the royal family are aliens.
Opinions as fact is when someone posts their own point of view on something as if it were a fact.
This could be posting that ghosts definitely exist.
Side by Side moderators need to hide misinformation, conspiracy, and opinions as fact. This is because they need to make sure all information is safe and true.
Moderators may also edit posts to make it clear that they are not facts. They will send you a message if they need to do this.,
If you think something is misinformation, conspiracy, or opinion as fact, please flag it for a moderator.
Other Languages
Side by Side is run by a charity that is in England and Wales. All moderators speak English. They cannot moderate other languages.
It is ok:
- To post common phrases in other languages that most people know, like “c’est la vie”.
It is not ok:
- To share posts in a language that is not English.
Personal Details
It is not ok to share personal details on the main wall or Direct Messages.
Personal details are things like:
- Email addresses
- Phone numbers
- Usernames on other sites
- Full name
- Home address
- Work address
It is ok:
- To post links to creative art, photography, blog sites
- To share general meet up spots/locations in public places.
Politics
Political opinions and statements are when someone shares their views on a political party, politician, or king or queen.
It is ok:
- To share general things that are important to mental health or people with mental health problems.
It is not ok:
- To post political statements
- To post political opinions
Religion
We know that religion is important to many people.
It is ok:
- To talk about our personal faith or religion.
- To share religious texts that come from religious books
It is not ok:
- To try to make other people change their religion.
- To discriminate against someone else’s faith or religion.
- To be disrespectful about someone else’s faith or religion.
- To share your religious beliefs as if they are fact
- To help someone else by talking about religion (For example, "God will save you")
Scars
Scars are marks left on skin where injuries used to be
It is ok:
- To talk about scars from injury, accident, self-harm, suicide, violence or abuse (as long as no details or descriptions of the harm are shared).
- To talk about general medical procedures
- To talk about about surgery from violence, abuse, or accidents (accidents: Injury that wasn't planned)
It is not ok:
- To share details or descriptions of the harm that caused the scars
- To describe harm from violence, abuse, or accident (accidents: Injury that wasn't planned)
Self-Harm
Self-harm is when someone does something on purpose to hurt themselves.
It is ok:
- To talk generally about experiences and feelings of self-harm.
It is not ok:
- To share methods of self-harm.
- To share graphic details of self-harm
- To share any image that shows self-harm
Sexual Behaviour and Romantic Relationships
Sexual behaviour means talking about sex or describing sex.
Romantic relationships are when two people are connected in a romantic or sexual way.
Sexual behaviour
It is ok:
- To ask for help about a sexual health problem.
- To ask for help about a physical health problem that that affects sex.
- To talk about a mental health problem or medication that might affect sex.
It is not ok:
- To share any detail or descriptions about sexual health problems
- To share jokes about sex
- To flirt with other members
- To look for dates on Side by Side
- To describe sex or masturbation (Masturbation is when you touch yourself in a sexual way.)
- To ask others for sex
- To have sex chats with other members
- To share sexual emojis or icons.
- To ask people to join in a fetish (A fetish is interest in a specific thing).
- To share sexual pictures
These rules apply to the main wall and Direct Messages.
Relationships
It's ok:
- To talk about the person you have a relationship with
It's not ok:
- To post romantic messages to the person you're in a relationship with, if they are on Side by Side
- To name the person you're in a relationship with, if they are on Side by Side
- To post special occasion posts to the person you're in a relationship with, if they are on Side by Side. For example, Valentines Day messages.
Swearing
Swearing means using words that are considered bad or offensive.
It is ok:
- To swear if you are talking about your mental health and feelings.
It is not ok:
- To swear at other members of the community
- To write words that are clearly offensive
- To swear more than needed
- To write words that could upset others
Suicidal Content
Suicidal content is when someone shares something about suicide. This means ending their own life.
It is important that people can talk about this safely.
It is ok:
- To post about feelings, emotions, thoughts and experiences
It is not ok:
- To post about a method of suicide
- To post pictures of someone doing suicide
- To post pictures that look like someone doing suicide
- To post words that describe suicide.
- To post messages that say “Goodbye.”
- To countdown to suicide
- To share timelines for suicide
- To post lots of suicidal posts
- To put pressure on others to stop them doing suicide
- To blame other members for suicidal thoughts or feelings
- To share emojis that show suicide methods
- To share tips to do suicide
- To share posts that make suicide seem positive or links to websites that make suicide seem positive
- To talk about suicide in a way that makes someone want to do it
Talking about others on the main wall
Talking about others on the main wall means posting on the public wall of Side by Side about another member of the community, a group of other members, or everyone on the site. Even if you don’t mention their name or username.
It is not ok:
- To post on the main wall about another community member. Named or not named
- To post on the main wall about a group of community members. Named or not named
- To post on the main wall about everyone on the site. Named or not named
- To talk about other members in your Direct Message conversations
Supportive Statements
Supportive statements are posts or comments that share support for your community, family, or people in general.
It is ok:
- To share peaceful statements of support.
- To share respectful posts or comments that support others.
It is not ok:
- To post opinions as fact
- To post things that can be hurtful to others
- To post things that can cause arguments
Get In Touch
If you have questions about these guidelines, please email us at:
sidebysideonline@mind.org.uk.